Review of Factory Shutdown
"Boy its just one horrible map after another here isnt it..."
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I really have no good introduction to this map. I dont know who the author is, and the map itself is just about horrible enough to piss me off. Factory Shutdown is the latest lump of crap to hit my shitlist, and the review starts....now!
Yes, as you might have already guessed, this level is as bland as shit in the visual department. You'd probably find better aesthetics by watching your grandma bend over with a mini-skirt on and no panties (please do not try this). Every room is a box, with some boxes inside of that box. Thats about it. Some boxes are textured differently, but not very well. Where has this world gone when authors cant even align a simple crate texture? As for lighting, it's not too horrible. You can find your way around this calamity of a level quite fine actually, as it is well lit. Alas, this doesnt stop the author from plugging a few totally-out-of-place colored lights in somewhere. Good god...
The layout almost has structure to it, but that structure is incredibly distorted. Most of the action takes place in either of the two hallways that directly connect to each team's bases, providing some linear, and usually boring gameplay. But for some reason, the author decided to add in an extra helping of bullshit to this map. Most noticably, the largest helping is squared around the strange hangar-type room. Inside this room, we have a floating lava cube, a wedge that supposed to be a ship, and enough colored lighting to turn your shit into Fruity Pebbles (or rocks, in this case). Further more, the door leading to this room takes about 2 minutes to fully open. Having to wait more than 2 seconds for a door to open is beyond me, so why the hell did the author do this? Im assuming he wanted to make the room feel "special". Well, the room sure looks like it was made by somebody "special", so why not? Anyway, before moving on, the Human base needs serious mention. Its a closet with a large, ugly door. Thats what the Human base is. The Spider base aint much better either; it's just a big box with a couple of ramps in it, PLUS a big shitty purple light sitting on the ceiling. Can you feel the adrenaline pumping? Oh wait, no, its just my sarcasm...
The r_speeds are low, yes they are. Does it really matter anymore though? Im actually begging that this map should have higher r_speeds, because then maybe it would have some fucking DETAIL in it. Oh sure, visuals arent everything, yea I know, but when the layout and gameplay sucks, you might want to have at least one redeeming quality of the map to fall back on, such as visuals....right? Hah, fat fucking chance. Looks like the author didnt spend any real time on this map, which shouldnt have even been released in the first place...
Wrapping up, I have a statement. Mappers, if youre going to map, make something worth-while. Dont do these shitty "I just started mapping" maps and release them, those are called "experiments". People dont like eating "experiment" food, or driving "experiment" cars, because both will probably kill them in the long run, so why would you want to subject people to "experiment" maps? Maps take time, patience, and skill to create, and good maps are examples of when that happens. Maps like Factory Shutdown, however, are examples of how someone can rush through a map, not caring about the abombination they are creating with their fingertips. Maps like these should not even see the light of a compile process, nor should they be concieved in even an idiots head. Total fucking garbage I tell you...
Yes, as you might have already guessed, this level is as bland as shit in the visual department. You'd probably find better aesthetics by watching your grandma bend over with a mini-skirt on and no panties (please do not try this). Every room is a box, with some boxes inside of that box. Thats about it. Some boxes are textured differently, but not very well. Where has this world gone when authors cant even align a simple crate texture? As for lighting, it's not too horrible. You can find your way around this calamity of a level quite fine actually, as it is well lit. Alas, this doesnt stop the author from plugging a few totally-out-of-place colored lights in somewhere. Good god...
The layout almost has structure to it, but that structure is incredibly distorted. Most of the action takes place in either of the two hallways that directly connect to each team's bases, providing some linear, and usually boring gameplay. But for some reason, the author decided to add in an extra helping of bullshit to this map. Most noticably, the largest helping is squared around the strange hangar-type room. Inside this room, we have a floating lava cube, a wedge that supposed to be a ship, and enough colored lighting to turn your shit into Fruity Pebbles (or rocks, in this case). Further more, the door leading to this room takes about 2 minutes to fully open. Having to wait more than 2 seconds for a door to open is beyond me, so why the hell did the author do this? Im assuming he wanted to make the room feel "special". Well, the room sure looks like it was made by somebody "special", so why not? Anyway, before moving on, the Human base needs serious mention. Its a closet with a large, ugly door. Thats what the Human base is. The Spider base aint much better either; it's just a big box with a couple of ramps in it, PLUS a big shitty purple light sitting on the ceiling. Can you feel the adrenaline pumping? Oh wait, no, its just my sarcasm...
The r_speeds are low, yes they are. Does it really matter anymore though? Im actually begging that this map should have higher r_speeds, because then maybe it would have some fucking DETAIL in it. Oh sure, visuals arent everything, yea I know, but when the layout and gameplay sucks, you might want to have at least one redeeming quality of the map to fall back on, such as visuals....right? Hah, fat fucking chance. Looks like the author didnt spend any real time on this map, which shouldnt have even been released in the first place...
Wrapping up, I have a statement. Mappers, if youre going to map, make something worth-while. Dont do these shitty "I just started mapping" maps and release them, those are called "experiments". People dont like eating "experiment" food, or driving "experiment" cars, because both will probably kill them in the long run, so why would you want to subject people to "experiment" maps? Maps take time, patience, and skill to create, and good maps are examples of when that happens. Maps like Factory Shutdown, however, are examples of how someone can rush through a map, not caring about the abombination they are creating with their fingertips. Maps like these should not even see the light of a compile process, nor should they be concieved in even an idiots head. Total fucking garbage I tell you...
User comments:
THIS MAP SUX! :D - Keitek
Glomfun.bsp (Cranky Steve reference)Pure crap. The brush count is p... - ComeToFragy [more]
...eww - MuteMode
I love Saig's reviews. - Krybosis
| Total: 18 ratings |
Comment: The same texture on every wall. Boring as hell Ill say. Some of the random brushes sprawled throughout the level have crate textures thrown on to them, probably as an attempt at texture variation; unfortunately, the textures are about as unaligned as the teeth from a Jerry Springer guest. Nice door textures by the way.
Comment: Yep, more pain. It seems like the author may have had a valid layout before he started this map, then began masturbating furiously while mapping, creating an extremely abstract form of a decent layout. Thumbs down my friend.
Comment: Ive seen more interesting things in the last shit I took, and even then, the shit wasnt all that interesting either. Just another hokey-ass "base" map with no point to it.
Comment: Studies show that booting up this map can and probably will cause permenant damage to the retinas. I hold no responsibility for any injuries sustained during the viewing of this map.