Review of Storage Factory
"Digging further into the crapheap reveals....."
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And I thought I had already reviewed all the bad maps! I feared I would actually have to start reviewing decent/good maps and give them positive reviews! I know, that would be a travesty. Well thank god I stumbled upon Storage Factory recently. Actually its not a good thing for anyone to cross paths with this map, and heres why you should avoid it at all costs.
Firsts things first. Do not adjust your brightness when you load this map. Yes its all pitch black. Except for a few light entities shit out at random locations, its strictly flashlight warfare (well except for skinhax0rs!). Turning on your flashlight will however reveal that the texture application in this map is simply terrible. Nothing varies, and nothing fits. The theme? I have no clue. Its boxy, bland, and uglier than that thing in Alien Ressurection that gets sucked out of the window (btw that shits hilarious >_<).
The layout? What the hell are you talking about. Its hallways. Hallways upon hallways. Pitch black hallways that loop around and lead you to an equally pitch black room full of crates. Its also having the Spider base have only one direct entrance, that being a small little 64 unit width passage that will probably be designated as the "chokepoint" in nearly every game. While the lighting values compliment Spider gameplay, the hallways should even things out for the Humans. There are a few long hallways here for the Humans to have a field day on. Throw in a detector-spamming evil Engy, and youve got yourself a shooting gallery.
Originality is null here. None. No texture blends, no light transitions, no contrast in brushwork. Ive seen first-time Duke3d maps that could put this map to shame. Well this map is a tad bit old I believe, so it might have been creative back when texture wrapped polygons were the wave of the future. As for the r_speeds, there isnt enough of anything in this map to chokeup anyone's computer. Well, at least theres a proven formula for perfect r_speeds....put NOTHING in your map!
Whatever is up with the maplists recently I dont know, but if it keeps shitting out bombshells like this map, were all most certainly doomed. I guess I could be a bit easier on this map, since its old, and it fits in that category of "Old Gloom map that is fucking shit but was cool back then because it was something new". Well its nothing new in the present day. Wasting any of your brain cells while playing this map qualifies for mass genocide.
Firsts things first. Do not adjust your brightness when you load this map. Yes its all pitch black. Except for a few light entities shit out at random locations, its strictly flashlight warfare (well except for skinhax0rs!). Turning on your flashlight will however reveal that the texture application in this map is simply terrible. Nothing varies, and nothing fits. The theme? I have no clue. Its boxy, bland, and uglier than that thing in Alien Ressurection that gets sucked out of the window (btw that shits hilarious >_<).
The layout? What the hell are you talking about. Its hallways. Hallways upon hallways. Pitch black hallways that loop around and lead you to an equally pitch black room full of crates. Its also having the Spider base have only one direct entrance, that being a small little 64 unit width passage that will probably be designated as the "chokepoint" in nearly every game. While the lighting values compliment Spider gameplay, the hallways should even things out for the Humans. There are a few long hallways here for the Humans to have a field day on. Throw in a detector-spamming evil Engy, and youve got yourself a shooting gallery.
Originality is null here. None. No texture blends, no light transitions, no contrast in brushwork. Ive seen first-time Duke3d maps that could put this map to shame. Well this map is a tad bit old I believe, so it might have been creative back when texture wrapped polygons were the wave of the future. As for the r_speeds, there isnt enough of anything in this map to chokeup anyone's computer. Well, at least theres a proven formula for perfect r_speeds....put NOTHING in your map!
Whatever is up with the maplists recently I dont know, but if it keeps shitting out bombshells like this map, were all most certainly doomed. I guess I could be a bit easier on this map, since its old, and it fits in that category of "Old Gloom map that is fucking shit but was cool back then because it was something new". Well its nothing new in the present day. Wasting any of your brain cells while playing this map qualifies for mass genocide.
User comments:
Oddly enough, I've never even heard of this map... - ThePyro
See above. See me barf. - Xenoid
Eh, sure it sucks, but at least it's playable, which is more than I c... - Norfenstein [more]
Such as the speed(TM) series from R1 - XenoidX
what the hell is this piece of crap still up here for lol. I didn't w... - Shoukaiser [more]
great map. - Django
| Total: 46 ratings |
Comment: Ok no. The texturing here is absolutely vile. Same texture walls, same texture floors, same texture EVERYTHING. Well, cept for a few crates. Oh wait you can barely see a fucking thing anyway. Screw it!
Comment: Good lord this is terrible. Randomly generated hallways of varying size slapped into a map editor. Then throw in a few boxes and crates, and boom, you have storfact.bsp. Brighten it up and make Spider base actually accessible, then maybe this map could be qualified as "crap". Just maybe...
Comment: Common sense alone tells me to give this category zero cubes. If anyone else can find a valid point of (positive) creativity in this map, go right ahead. Dont strain yourself by the way.
Comment: If the maplists are generated from the map poll, then who in their fucking mind voted for this map!@?! Ok variety is good yes, but for gods sake, THINK before you click those buttons!