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GMD Verdict  

Review of GloomFun
"What in the name of FUCK is this!!?!"
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Map Name   GloomFun (gloomfun.bsp)
Map Author   MuteMode
Download   speedmappak.zip (3mb)
 
Reviewer   Saig
Reviewed on   Wed Oct 23 03:26:08 2002

Gonna keep it short here, cause this map doesnt really need a whole lot of explaining. Gloomfun, a demented spinoff of that vomit-soaked shitstain of a map GODFUN (see cranky steve), should never be played on public servers. EVER...

At first, the map seems nice enough. It looks relatively well built, with solid architecture. The textures are decent too (Then you walk out the door and get smeared into the wall, therefore becoming the textures, but thats covered later). The lighting is also administered in a consciencious manner, so I really have no qualms in the visual department.

The layout itself looks like it might actually work, but there are...obstacles blocking your way. If by chance you get past those obstacles, youre bound to run into even more obstacles, therefore making any game on this map a moot. Really, if you want me to go into detail about the layout of this fuckheap, just load the map up yourself and try to play. Then come back and try to ask me again while keeping a straight face.

Now comes the fun part. Those 'obstacles' I mentioned in the paragraph above come in the form of devilish, hell-spawned RXN COLA MACHINES. Located conveniently about the complex, or whatever is it, these machines will not hesistate to annihilate you instantly. Some of them fire a constant stream of wraith bombs, some even fire drone spit (I think, not sure since I never got that far into the map). But the real shitkickers are the ones that fire rockets. Not just one rocket mind you, but ROCKETS FIRED AT 20 ROUNDS A SECOND. Now, I know this map was made during a build of Gloom that didnt have rockets that killed you in one shot, but since dll changes are about as common as sniper attacks in Maryland (or used to be), the rockets now obliterate you. No possible way through for any class. Its funny, but mind-poundingly frustrating as well.

Not surprisingly the r_speeds are low, but what would you expect from a speedmap (then again, look at speed.bsp good fucking lord). One thing that I found highly amusing, and mildly creative, was the bathroom. While it is sealed off, inside there is a rampant green strobing light, and screams blaring out at a constant rate. They could be screaming for one of two reasons. They realized they were included in this map, or they tried playing this map, and are suffering from the reprocussions. Oh what do I care. Its a fucking box with green lights and sound files looping it in. Enjoy your damn 3 cube score in creativity you twat!

Serious? Not at all. Im not one bit serious about reviewing this map. In fact, there was no real need to review it either. I just felt the need to vent some frustration, and nothing does it better than criticizing these god awful buttdumplings of mashed together polygons, or as the rest of the world likes to call them, Gloom maps. THIS MAP IS GLUMFUN! (hardly)


User comments:
ACK! This map was meant to make children scream. GO SPEEDMAPS! - MuteMode
the rockets ALWAYS instant killed... mute didn't test the damage before releasing it :) - R1
Really? I remember a time when HT rockets didnt do much dmg to Humies... - Saig
i gave this map a 10, so at 2 voted it's got 5! yay! go death! - Ranger
k mute rox - DeadEd
this is the best map ever! that's y i gave it a zero, well that, and... - thatguy10101 [more]
boo 2 u. - Switen
Pathetic piece of crap where you TRY to live. Problem is as soon as you... - ScopeWolf [more]

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Comment on this review:

Average rating for GloomFun: 5.2/10

Rate-O-Map™

Total: 28 ratings
 
Textures
Cube Cube Cube

Comment: ACTUALLY it doesnt look that bad, texture-wise. All the cola machines faces fit perfect!

Layout

Comment: Lol, is this some kinda joke? I think so. Die Mutemode!

Creativity
Cube Cube Cube

Comment: Multiple rockets and wraith bombs from cola machines? Bathroom with constant looping screaming? The sadism here earns 3 cubes...

Overall

Comment: Dispite the fact he got 3 cubes in 2 categories, its still unplayable, and is therefore garbage.
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